So it was brought to my attention that E! Online turned to High Profile Attorney Jose Baez for his opinion on the Tiger Woods case. (E!: So What Kind of Charges Could Tiger Woods Face?)
Now I would like to point out that E! attributed the source of the comments in their story to High Profile Florida Criminal Attorney Jose Baez. They did not show a picture, a link, or give an address – so I could be wrong about who the source for their article was, and because of this, I will just refer to this Jose Baez as the Clueless Wonder for simplicity’s sake 🙂
In any event, I wish I could say I was shocked by the Clueless Wonder’s not-so-expert opinion, but let us just say I was not.
So before the world goes completely mad, I would like to discuss what the Clueless Wonder had to say. Let’s start with the first excerpt from their story: So What Kind of Charges Could Tiger Woods Face?.
High-profile Florida criminal attorney Jose Baez tells E! News that Woods’ seeming refusal to speak with FHP troopers could result in several misdemeanor charges, including obstruction of justice, resisting arrest without violence, criminal mischief and possibly even driving under the influence.
Now I don’t have a lot of time on my hands, but I am really beginning to think the Clueless Wonder does not even practice law in Florida, much less criminal law. Because a first-year law student would know that the first three charges the Clueless Wonder cites would never apply to Tiger Woods’ situation.
But rather than just tell you, and expect you to believe me, I am going to break down each of the Clueless Wonder’s ridiculous responses.
Obstruction of Justice
Where do I start with this one? How about there is no crime called Obstruction of Justice in Florida – I swear on my comic books.
Rather, there are a group of crimes that fall under the category of Obstructing Justice. These individual crimes can be found in Chapter 843, Florida Statutes, which is ironically titled Obstructing Justice (No I am not kidding you).
Chapter 843 lists 27 different statutes which criminalize Obstructing Justice – however, there is no individual crime titled Obstruction of Justice. If you do not believe me, you can either read Chapter 843 or you can review the Law Enforcement and Clerk Arrest Tables found on the FDLE website.
Importantly, one of those 27 different statutes does list the next crime I am about to discuss, and which the Clueless Wonder mentions.
Resisting an Officer Without Violence
Resisting an Officer Without Violence is codified in Section 843.02, Florida Statutes. To violate the statute, you must “resist obstruct or oppose a law enforcement officer … in the lawful execution of any legal duty” without doing violence to the officer.
Now for the life of me, I cannot even see where the Clueless Wonder is coming from on this one. The only legal duty that Tiger Woods was required to comply with was Section 316.062, Florida Statutes – “Duty to give information and render aid.”
Now, this statute lists four specific things Tiger Woods was required to provide, which he did:
- Name,
- Address,
- Vehicle Registration,
- Driver License (Technically optional).
Now wait one second, I am sure the Clueless Wonder thinks Tiger had a DUTY to provide law enforcement with a confession just like Casey’s did (okay she lied) – but NO, Section 316.062 goes on to state:
The statutory duty of a person to make a report or give information to a law enforcement officer …relating to a crash shall not be construed as extending to information which would violate the privilege of such person against self-incrimination.
So call me crazy, but it appears Tiger complied with the letter of the law – not that I would expect the Clueless Wonder to know the law.
And “low” and behold, it appears the Clueless Wonder did not let me down, because here is his interpretation of this law as quoted on E! .
And for all those concerned, sports-loving citizens thinking that list seems like overkill, well, blame the finer points of Florida law.
Per Baez, citizens are not allowed to invoke their right to counsel during a traffic accident investigation, hence the possible obstruction of justice charge.
I could have sworn Section 316.062, Florida Statutes, says the exact opposite – but what does the law matter when you are High Profile Florida Criminal Attorney Jose Baez aka the Clueless Wonder!
Criminal Mischief
Criminal Mischief is codified in Section 806.13, Florida Statutes, as follows:
A person commits the offense of criminal mischief if he or she willfully and maliciously injures or damages by any means any real or personal property belonging to another…
Now the keywords there are willfully and maliciously (which basically means with evil purpose). So am I to believe that the Clueless Wonder really thinks Tiger Woods willfully drove into both a fire hydrant and a tree for some evil purpose?
Never mind. So let’s move onto the Clueless Wonder’s final thought about Tiger’s possible charges.
Driving Under the Influence
DUI is codified in Section 316.19, Florida Statutes. Now here is what kills me about the Clueless Wonder’s comments on this particular crime being applicable, he provided a qualified statement: “possibly even driving under the influence.” Basically, he was saying this was the least likely of the crimes he listed to be applicable.
Let me tell you something; of all the hair-brained charges the Clueless Wonder mentioned, DUI is the only charge that is even remotely likely to apply. I mean really, when was the last time you drove your car into a tree at 3 a.m.
So how in the world could he qualify his beliefs as to the applicability of this charge? Oh, that is right – he is clueless.
So watch out ladies and gentleman or you too might find yourself being represented by THE CLUELESS WONDER!
21 responses to “The Clueless Wonder Strikes Again”
Thanks! Now this is entertaining! 😆
WOW..Richard..Your fast!! I was just on your other blog post, when you heard about the Interview on “E’.. next thing I know, “BAM” you have a new blog on the Clueless Wonder..
I am still wondering from your other blog entitled: To catch a Tiger by it’s toe, if Baez taking time out of his busy schedule on the Crime case of the Century, to start talking about other cases on TV, does this mean he is done? Is he done with the Casey Anthony Case. leaving it all in the hands of Andrea Lyons now? Has he given up and the only possible thing they can hope for is saving her from the Death Penalty?
Sounds like he is moving on to me..
@loves2shop I doubt it, I got three calls today from various outfits and found time to do a live Radio interview for some California radio station and assist two local media outfits.
So I will give the Clueless Wonder (remember we don’t know for sure it was our Jose Baez 😉 ) a pass on taking the call, but not on misstating the law.
@Frosty
No, the whole neighborhood is private access. FHP had no business being involved.
awe.. my neck of the woods.. : )
OK. fair enough about our Baez..
perfer the new name you have given him…
opps.. correction to my last post
but i prefer the new name you have given him.. : )
Can you imagine the laugh Mark NeJame got……..he’ll still be laughing tomorrow.
Like clueless-wonder doesn’t have enough to learn about for his own “high-profile case”…….
Richard you are fast. I thought his analysis sounded a little out there. I would have expected him to at least have an understanding of the laws in a minor case such as this, but obviously not. Clueless is definitely applicable.
So, Baez persists in his imitation of a lawyer? There’s no business like show business.
lmbo….honeybunches you sure do travel !
This article was very enlightening…not only on laws,but the new name Clueless Wonder..LOL If is was the illlustrious Mr. Jose A. Baez then seems he is out earning extra money… his office is lacking in it seems… Cindy and George been falling off the interview wagon… no one wants them on their shows of late…LOL IMO… Mr. Hornsby you may have taken a lot of flack for some of your reporting but this seems to be helping you win public opinion… LOL… Thanks for the story…
“News that Woods’ seeming refusal to speak with FHP troopers “could result” in several misdemeanor charges, including obstruction of justice, resisting arrest without violence, criminal mischief and possibly even driving under the influence.”
Refusal to report your daughter missing for 31 days “could result” in first degree capital murder.
That’s not to say a judge won’t disagree and dismiss the “charges” that “could result”, correct?
Hey Richard…
O.K, I forgive you for “moderating” and not posting my comments regarding the “MEOW-catfight-alert!” concerning the WJS article……
I thorougly enjoyed this article regarding the “clueless wonder” making his non-sensical “Jack Handy deep thought” commentary about “the law”..(Does it really surprise you that it took the “ethically challenged” BOZO BAEZ 8 years to pass the bar exam?)..
Anyway, is there any validity to BOZO BAEZ currently being investigated by the Florida Bar Association?
sincerely,
violette
@Babybear
LOL LOL LOL
[…] a break from my recent juvenile rants about other lawyer’s poor legal knowledge, I am going to address a more serious legal issue; the significance of Casey Anthony’s check […]
@skyangel1
Sky.. HI.. lol I do.. where we’re you tonight?? honeybunches went home tonight.. missed ya!!’
((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))
I heard from a good source that the Florida Bar is investigating the Clueless Wonder because of his sexual relationship with Anthony. There have been many witnesses to their “love” including OCSD. Richard do you want to shed some light on that?
@whatever
That is old news and it is my understanding the Florida Bar closed the investigation as being unfounded.
AND so once again BOZO the Clown has out done himself………HA! Tiger did what he should have and has paid his fine………BOZO reminds me of Chris Farley in the movie “TOMMY BOY” he passed because he got a “D” took him eight years but he passed………LMAO! Low and behold an office with a window!
Tiger Woods short comings are his own…he will never divorce his wife because he stands to lose to much…..and if he does….then it’s his loss….such a pretty lady!
Remember the January 2009 ‘MOTION TO COMPEL RELEASE OF VIDEO VISITATIONS OF GEORGE AND CINDY ANTHONY ON AUGUST 14, 2008’ ?
The one prompted by the ‘Lost Jail Video’ that Baez thought must have contained some suspicious ‘police misconduct’ information so instead of asking the state about the visitation tape, which apparently the jail forgot about, he went to the judge with accusations in hand, and demands to have the tape released to him (and of course, to the media!).
Summary of this motion reads:
“WHEREFORE the Defendant, CASEY MARIE ANTHONY, by and through undersigned counsel, prays that this Honorable Court enter an order compelling the State of Florida and its various police agencies to produce to the Defense any and all video, transcripts, logs, reports and other documentation of the visitation by George and Cindy Anthony on August 14, 2008.”
(and the usual certificate of service, dated 7th day of January, 2009.)
Because of the ‘court activity’ on this matter, the jail found the missing tape and we all know what happened after that! Revealing things that Mr. Baez now blames on the prosecution and wants, almost a year later, to have removed, destroyed etc.
Someone ought to send this man a calendar!
I am laughing so hard…oh my! You DO have a way with words, and if you don’t write a great legal thriller you are depriving your new fans of a “sure to be” GREAT READ!